I am writing this in stillness, complete quietness – not a machine running, not water dripping, not a voice. I type (peck) softly and I hear almost nothing. These moments rarely happen for me – aloneness, quietness. It’s funny but we mostly know ourselves through the people we are around mostly. It’s hard to find a spot where you can know you for real – not some reflection of whomever you are with.
It’s good to be able to “find yourself”. I suppose I was able to do that when I took the proverbial trip to Europe in my youth. I was in a place where no one even knew my name. I was able to discover many things about myself that I needed to know, things I still draw from today. But now, with all of these layers of life draped over me it is surely more difficult to get in touch with “ME”. I don’t say this as a narcissistic kind of thing; I say this because we need to know who we are so that we can be who we were born to be.
It is so difficult today because of the distractions, propaganda and lies that bombard each minute of our days. I don’t really watch TV but when I am in “there” after about 10 minutes I feel, as they say, dumber and so violated with the fabrication that the media wants us to believe is life. If there were one single modern invention that has done more for the demoralization and dumbing of society, my vote would be, hands down, the TV. Even in my day, the fresh scrubbed late 50s, it began its handy work – telling mother’s how inept they were at their jobs and their marriages. The lies were not quite as big then, they were only selling Tide and Tang; today they are selling plastic surgery and overpriced luxury cars. The jury is still out for me on FB and the ramifications it is having. Like most things, it can be a useful tool – I have found a few old friends on it and I can learn about community events and I can post this blog entry on it but I suspect, as all things human, there will be negative issues attached to this means of communication. I am treading softly – trying to “keep it real”.
Any way I am having a few moments to ask myself a few questions and get some honest answers and this entry is the manifestation of one of my questions – I absolutely hate the propaganda we are being fed intravenously every single day of our lives – that’s who I am, that’s the thorn. I remember what my dad stubbornly proclaimed and infused us with – “Don’t believe anything you hear and only half of what you see.” I thought that was so harsh and bitter when I heard that in my adolescence but, Dad, like so many other things you said, I so get it now.