Category Archives: spirit

Magic and the Moon

I wait impatiently for the coolness of autumn to find us way down here along the Gulf Coast. It seems to be delayed, as late September is feeling too much like August. The Full Harvest Moon will light up the night on the 29th and I know I will stand in the field where my garden is and wait to see it rise just over the trees and once again, be in awe. This is a ritual that began in my youth; there is something about the moon rising and the sun setting that puts me in a special place; it is a miracle I can easily enjoy and count on.
I think I may be the only person on the planet that would have rather no one land on the moon. I loved the mystery, the romance, the way my imagination could roam on that far away sphere when I was a child. I suppose children don’t bother looking for the “man in the moon” anymore since there was a “man on the moon”. Shame on me, I suppose…

 
Speaking of miracles, I have had my life enriched this past week end by people I have never even seen and may never meet. It was a spiritual journey, one without the interruption and intrusion of ego – the best kind of experience.  The experience was pure, linked to my past, and generated a peaceful feeling that ripples and finds its way into my everyday life, the same feeling I get when I paint or write – just a spiritual connection that fills you up.

 I think of the word serendipity, a fun word that I love, “making discoveries by accident”, and think this would be a fitting way to describe the week end that just past, the one I write of – it was a magical accident. Sorry to be so vague but the details shouldn’t matter; the point is that being in spirit is where you find your truth and consequent happiness. The material things your ego strives for keeps you on the wobbly surface of life and can never give you pure joy – it is as temporary and fleeting as the stuff you buy with it.

Anyway, I hope you look more towards those places in your life that deal with essence and worry less about those places that deal with acquisitions.
And I hope Fall will soon arrive in South Louisiana!
 
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be "there"

It’s finally Saturday morning and the rain is here. There is something happening that I think has never happened in the history of this nearly 30 year old house; I am alone on a Saturday morning. It is a new sensation for me. I am in this “place” of semi solitude that I have not experienced in quite some time. I am here with just my thoughts and they are somewhat soothing. These moments are the best moments because they are not moments of display – they are moments of reflection and a look inward instead of outward. The stuff on the outside, “ego”, is what distracts and causes apprehension and stress, the stuff on the inside, “spirit”, soothes.
 Anyway, I choose to write with these few minutes of solitude but before I sat down to type this, I walked around in the quietness of my house and each room became a prop for some scene that had occurred and it was wonderful and difficult all at once – those memories, those moments, this stage that was, and still is, my life. These walls are external things but they prompt the memories and make it easier for me to recall. I walked past my studio and realized this tiny room, the smallest  of all, has had the most impact – it was the playroom for the boys, filled with Legos and lunch and neighborhood friends, filled with a magical  childhood and it was Elizabeth’s Barney room – he came on twice a day and twice she would watch and dance and sing. It is where she colored and played Candy land and it is where I rocked her to sleep. Now it is where I go to paint – there is so much soul there for me, those memories those pieces of life that linger there – they fill me up.
 But I also know that this prop, this house, may one day not be here and I address that and I hope I can draw from within exclusively. It is these moments, these moments of solitude where you develop those strengths, those ways to be alone and to internalize, those places of spirit where ego is forbidden – this is where I become strong – ego wears us down, tears us up – it brings us up and then slams us down – spirit just soothes and heals. I am posting a grainy iPhone picture of my “studio” – it is a bit of a tumbled mess but it’s colorful and alive – some of the paintings are for Elizabeth – coloring and creating never stopped for her. I struggle with posting, I don’t want to exhibit “ego” – I just wanted to give you a visual – I love stories with pictures. I figured a room in this kind of disarray can’t possibly be thought of as egotistical – embarrassing perhaps – LOL.
Anyway, just a rainy morning post to say to you that I hope you find those places where you are just you – in spirit and away from the distractions of an ego driven society. It is becoming more and more challenging but, I think, it is essential to be “there”.
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It’s all good

I am still riding this wave of contentedness. I think maybe I am in control of this new found feeling, that it isn’t something that happened to me, it is something I conceived and now my perceptions have become my realities (to quote my cousin, Glenda).I think it all has to do with two things – scratching off bunches of items on the “want” list and staying in spirit, constantly. Living this way is so freeing. I have always been a bit bohemian but this level I have achieved is incredible. On the rare occasion I find myself slipping into the propaganda that is society, I can quickly dismiss it by reminding myself how little and incidental all of that “stuff” is and I am instantly back in spirit. It’s funny but I do care about the details of my life – like it’s important that I use fresh garlic and juice only organics but it is not important if the “granite” countertop is cracked! I think my art has a lot to do with my perceptions – art and spirit blankets my life and all else is unimportant to me, all else meaning things and situations – not people and relationships. Anyway, I wish that everyone could find a way to get through the useless muck that is being thrown at us constantly and quit buying into the garbage that is polluting our lives  – I hope you try – it is so wonderful to

B U

Contentedness

For a brief period of time today, I felt true peace. It was late in the afternoon just before evening. I had had a good day at work and everyone in my family was good. I sat in the front yard tending a fire and drinking coffee. The woods were quiet except for the scurry of a squirrel and the falling of a few late autumn leaves. I put myself in a place of contentedness, a contentedness that comes from only wanting the simplest of things and in return, I felt at peace. I have written about this place before, this place that has no regard for matters of this world – stuff and competition – when you don’t place value on those things, you set yourself free and you are open to the peacefulness of your spirit – you let go of ego. I love this place. Anyway, I found happiness today drinking coffee and tending a fire on a December day.

purpose

The day begins and I find myself so satisfied. I have continued on this journey I have written of recently – this journey that does not place value in surface glamour and fleeting occurrences and materialism – it places value in the internal me – focus on spirit. I have never felt as free as I do now – it’s like finding the answers in the back of the book. I will say, it is a constant conscious effort, at least at this point in my journey. I do find myself getting caught up in the smallness of things – but I now seem to have the commitment to pull myself away and “get in spirit”. I am not posting this to boast about myself – how worldly is that! – I am posting it to offer it to you and at the same time, reassure myself. There exists so much worldly trauma and stress that it is so easy to fall prey to it. There is so much hype and propaganda and smoke and mirrors and judgementalism and intimidation out there – it’s a wonder we are not all “Prozaced” out. Well, just as I believe Nature has many cures, I believe Spirit can give you peace. I can find it here on this autumn morning, I can cast aside the little worries I may have by holding them up against “the big picture” and understanding that it is not my purpose in life to accumulate things and to raise a star athlete or a corporate mogul or a homecoming queen  – it is my purpose to provide a secure platform to nurture my children to realize their unique and intended purpose and to encourage them to go with it and not just “my” children but anyone I can help. It may be that someone needs to be a star athlete, for instance, but not for reasons of ego, but for a stage to fulfill their true purpose.  Okay I’m getting soppy here, but I just wanted to share this feeling. I’m not sure I did a great job of it, but I will continue to try. It is just so freeing to devalue the materialistic world, to put it in its place. And it does have a place – my relatively new car is great – it starts up immediately and takes me to the grocery store to buy good food for my family and my solidly built house keeps the cold out and offers creature comforts to my family – I am very aware of the comfort the materialistic world can provide, but it needs to be only a tool to achieve my real purpose, not a “trophy” of my efforts.
Now, I do know I have not been challenged with a shattering tragedy – I doubt myself in extreme circumstances – I don’t know if I have that kind of colossal strength. I hope I never find out. I do hope, however,  to be able to navigate the trials and challenges of each day by staying in spirit – always.
My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble mind.
Albert Einstein



photo by Glenda Sanders Fleshman



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energy

When I was growing up, there was a little saying about it taking more muscles to frown than to smile – I think that may have been  some sort of precursor to the idea of positive energy and affirmations that we speak of now – just a bit more rudimentary. It does take alot of effort to be negative – to think negative thoughts and to feel negatively about yourself and others , to frown. I wonder if I can go through the day, this day, without allowing any negative thoughts in my head and only speaking when I have something good to say, I wonder how fulfilled I would feel by the end of the day. And I wonder if that energy would be tranferable?
Cease all criticism of yourself and others. Accept yourself as you are. Praise yourself as much as you can. Criticism breaks down the inner spirit, praise builds it up.
Louise Hay
elizabeth – 2009
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umbrellas and mothers

It was an eerie dream – pieces of my past all tumbled together ending with me standing in the rain trying to get my daughter where she needed to be.
The symbolism here is uncanny – me, spending much of my life holding “umbrellas” over my children, stepping in puddles and trying to avoid downpours all the while trying to point them towards the light, to a place where they belong and are flooded in sunshine. I, and all of the moms I know, do this, we “stand out in the rain” and are relentless warriors when our kids are involved. We never stop, no matter how many tears are spilled, disappointments are dealt, frustrations and discouragements converge and sometimes slow us down, but never stop us, only our last breath can do that – my mother told me this when my first child was born: “From the time he takes his first breath until you take your last, he will never leave your mind”.
The moment in the dream was so intense – just a feeling more than a situation. I’m not sure what God was revealing to me – I don’t think it was anything specific but I think it was more of a flash of sustenance and support – telling me that I needed to keep the umbrella handy and that it was my purpose to protect them , to guide them, no matter how big the storm or how powerful the resistance – I knew best, I have the “umbrella” and tired as I might be or doubtful as I must feel, I open it each day because I know each day a little rain will fall somewhere. There will be a voice within me, sometimes whispering ever so faintly, but if I am still and am in spirit, I will hear it – this I am sure of. Well, that is the essence of my dream and this is the manifestation of its message. Thankfully, the sun is shining as I write this but my umbrella is there by the back door.
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