Category Archives: parents

less is more

Yesterday I was thinking that while I am very grateful for all the goodness in my life this Christmas I look ahead to next and think of a couple of things to improve. I want to step even farther away back from the commercialism of course – I have done a fairly good job this year and in doing so I have made discoveries – pleasant ones about soulfulness and good will. Secondly, I want $100 to be a lot of money to me. I recently saw the value of money through the eyes of someone I know rather well, a specific amount, a small amount, to me, and it made me realize how, like an addict, the numbers have to be bigger and bigger to have value for me. I suppose this is just a fancy way of saying I want to need less. Besides the health of my family, I think this is my biggest wish for next Christmas. Regardless of how much wealth I may or may not acquire, I want more value in less. I have moved so far from the “things of the world” and I continue to seek and find that wonderful space that is about spirit, sometimes I feel like I just hoover above those foolish things that used to matter and the feeling is, pardon the pun, so uplifting. It is a freedom and sense of calmness that I have worked hard to find and I treasure each time I “get there”. The passing of my parents have catapulted me into this place of immaterial – in seeing all that “mattered” in their lives and then watching the final chapter, I have been able to sort through some of the nonessentials and see what, in the end, endures. I suppose parents never quit teaching their children.
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sitting at the top

Do you see that little guy in the corner? He’s the one with curious eyes and cinnamon smudges on his face. He has been there since 1985! I cleaned out my little spice cabinet yesterday and, once again, I dusted him off and put him back in his corner. I’ll take him out again around Christmas – one morning when it’s cold and it’s Saturday and time for hot chocolate and cinnamon toast. I don’t really know why I hang on to such a peculiar inanimate object – something from Winn Dixie that I bought when my oldest boys were about 3 or 4. Anyway, there he was again, sitting there, waiting and causing me to reel backwards into what I remember to be such a wonderful time – a time of youth, both mine and my children’s, a time when I had my parents there to cushion the blows and filter the toxins of my life, a time when tomorrow was stretched out into infinity, it seemed. Hmmmm, now, I find myself at the helm, so to speak. Now, I am the softener of some of the blows and the filter that tries to keep my children safe – it can be a difficult transition, and it’s true, it can be lonely at the top, sitting there trying to look ahead, trying to figure out what’s best when there is nothing tangible to draw from or notion to lead – just you … Now you know why “he” sits there in my spice cabinet with his quirky smile and his twist top head.
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