Category Archives: driving

closing doors

The “samples” entry was kind of curious but it was there for a reason – I needed to show these pieces to someone and for me, this was the easiest way. I have left the days of complicated and intense painting and have entered into a pleasant place of funky and fun art – as in these “samples”. Life is a journey.
 The days are getting shorter here and my worries are getting longer
(sorry so cheesy); Elizabeth is driving! As many things in life, this event is two sided – one side gives me freedom and the other causes much apprehension. hmmmmm. I am getting better at letting go of these fears – realizing that I can’t stop life from doing its thing and that I will get through it because we have to.  I will try to focus more on my freedom and less on the thought of her on the road – alone. Once, I wrote about how much I valued the time she and I spent in the car going from place to place , leaving supper on the stove to run to town for makeup, driving east 20 miles to a friend’s house or west 30 miles for “True Red” lipstick at Sephora – always inconvenient for me but always bonding for us. I was the one to pick her up from school and hear her day fresh off the presses, news that, otherwise, would have been absorbed in the first moments at home – moments gone that I would never have known about. The VW she is driving is where I introduced her to The Beatles and Dylan and she discovered how much she loved Lennon and asked tens of questions about that era that was my childhood – she learned as I relived. Well, here I am on the other side, now I will know much less about the days of this little girl. I will have my coveted “freedom”, but I will not have those intimate moments while driving her from place to place. My mom had such a handle of these transitions, these closing doors – she told me she was never sad about endings, instead she looked forward to the next chapters in our lives. I will take that with me as I close this door.

b u
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Driving

I have spent most of my summer vacation “driving Miss Elizabeth” around. We went to voice lessons, ballet classes, shopping, visiting, junking, touring, we went everywhere. It seems each day was something – maybe it was just a quick run to Walgreens for “Red –y” nail polish or maybe it was an all dayer to Magazine in New Orleans, whatever it was, I was the driver and she was the passenger. Well, I have always been a stay at home kind of person and she is too, but at 16, her stay at home and my stay at home concept are a bit different – there were many times I turned on that ignition with much reluctance and dread. Now, here in mid-august, I realize how much I will miss these days of “driving Miss Elizabeth”. She will be driving herself by the end of October. I won’t be in the car with her anymore, I won’t be the one she talks to and sings to; I’ll be home and she’ll be gone. I look back at all of the little nooks and crannies of her life that I discovered while driving her around – I know her favorite songs (they are now my favorite songs ), I know who she saw at the movies and how she liked it – I know what movie she saw! – I know what she’s wearing and how she’s feeling because of all that driving we do. I capture her life the instant it happens; I have a front row seat there beneath the steering wheel. I have to believe that she is wrapped up tight enough to me, to her core, that even though she stretches out to distant places, she will spring back to her center now and then and I will always be there.
Another chapter will soon close and while I look forward to my “freedom”, I will miss those “transient” moments “driving Miss Elizabeth”.
my little dress (my grandmother made) and elizabeth’s favorite hat (when she was about 3)  hanging out together – awwww!
holding tight
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