I’m writing from Boulder, Colorado at a Whole Foods on the corner of Broadway and Baseline looking at the Rocky Mountains and waiting for Matthew and Andrew.I have been here since yesterday, Friday, April 20 – 420 – and I am leaving tomorrow – Earth Day. The time in between these two days has been, thus far, very well spent. There is quite the Bohemian, (noveau)hippie, kinda attitude here – natural looking girls with long hair and guys on bikes and super fit and just cool. I met most of Matt and Drew’s classmates/friends and I could not be more pleased – multi dimensional people who are genuine and artsy and “following their bliss” – wow, I am happy!! I went to the first farmer’s market of spring this morning and it was something I could easily visit every Saturday – organic everything – even raw milk and little pots of herbs to buy and plant and mushrooms from the mountains, cheese from local goat farms and artesian bread with organic flax seed. And did I mention everyone drives a Subaru? I keep waiting to see Alice Waters somewhere. A few years ago, I posted a list from her on this blog and to commemorate my trip to Boulder, I think I shall re post:
Eat locally and sustainably
Conserve, compost, and recycle
Remember food is precious
This could hang on the walls at Escoffier – what a wonderful path to choose…
There was a night this past week that caused me to feel a sense of pure joy – something happened, something was said, that seemingly came from “nowhere” to tell me a wish was coming true. I was talking to my son, Matthew, on the phone from Boulder. I was busy asking “20 questions”, how’s school, are you eating right, is it cold, etc. when he unexpectedly began describing the morning view from his apartment window. He told me about the sun rising over the Rockies and how it “motivated” him to begin his day and how wonderful it was to wake up that way each morning. In that moment I had such a rare feeling of arrival, that something had “taken”, something worked, someone was listening. For me, and I emphasize, “for me”, this type of reveal means more than anything – people measure worth in many ways, this type of perception and appreciation is how I measure and for Matthew to express this intrinsic feeling to me means I have been granted my wish. I carried that joy around all of the next day and will reflect back on it when I need to – it is there. It is proof that they are listening, they are watching and their fabric is from the bolt that is you. It is beautiful but it is also a responsibility, the greatest of all.
I suppose that is how the universe works; just keep doing what you feel is right and in God’s time, you will hear, “Mom, you should see the sun rising over the Rocky Mountains”.
The twins left yesterday morning but not before a flat on the truck and tears in my heart. Boulder or bust. It is such a conflicting internal struggle for parents this letting go, saying good bye – our heads and our heart don’t see it the same way. I am trying to allow my head to win this battle, this conquest of freedom and independence that I so want for all of my children but my silly heart still sees them at two, toddling around with buster brown haircuts and chubby little hands that were so warm to hold. Yesterday was rough. Today should be better, today I will paint and pull weeds – two great cures for all that troubles me.
see you later