The day seems sunnier today. I had a good cry over the phone with a special friend and just her listening was magic for me. What would we do without our friends?
Each day is defined by how you “look at it” and yesterday was like a picture hanging slightly slanted on the wall – I was bothered by it and probably overthinking it – just a simple exercise in self-inflicted torture. I’m a mom, so there is always something quirky occurring in my life and I cannot control hardly any of it. I know this, so on most days, I just control my attitude, but on some days, it controls me; that would be yesterday.
I still haven’t written my column, so I will now – going forward with an attitude adjustment. I have to remember to not take life so seriously and remind myself that it’s all going to be okay. I struggle to even know what I stressed over last July – it’s all in my foggy past and everything in my present moment is fine. What a waste of valuable time all that worrying was.
Take good care of your friends – they are your lifelines, they remind us of what we are really about when we lose our way.
“It is not so much our friends’ help that helps us as the confident knowledge that they will help us.”
Today was one of those days that filled me up with some sort of peacefulness. Maybe it is because it is June and life will slow down for me for the next few weeks or maybe it is because I just shifted my attitude slightly and made a choice to see ONLY the good in my life. It is a theme that I have been following lately, an effort to devalue many many things and in doing so I have found contentedness that I have not felt since childhood when my world was so small and narcisstic. That is where I try to stuff myself, in a small world , one where the outside does not really matter – I am not meaning apathy about “the world”, the planet, humankind, but matters of human weakness kind of stuff – like, it doesn’t matter if the kitchen is not clean when I go to bed or if I spilled bleach on my pants or if the backdoor is really old and needs repair and paint (it does) or if I don’t get the grass cut today or tomorrow or if my neighbor’s kid just got elected president or if I have a new wrinkle – doesn’t really matter does it? Who cares? I am sorting through things and deciding what I should give time, minutes and hours of my very finite life, to. The answer is easy really – people and for me, my art – people I love and people who come into my life because they need something from me – that’s it – nothing else matters – I’m not just referring to “things” – it’s situations also that rob me of time, situations that are really superficial and should not hold value. I look back and I can embarrass myself over some of the things in my youth that upset me or caused me concern. Oh well, this is true rambling – it’s late at night and I told myself, and you, that I would make a big effort to write this summer and I am. This entry is so loose and hard to follow; random is the word to use here, but I am celebrating being “chill” – embracing summer and the essence of its spirit. There will be time enough later to rush and scurry –
“So quick bright things come to confusion” Shakespeare from “A Midsummer Night’s Dream”
He reminds us how quick and fragile these happy moments can be. I will make it a point to find more of them; they are there if we don’t look to compare and if we push out the darkness by allowing the light to come in. It really is all about attitude…