This is a repost to my Talent Teacher friends…I was just, last week, telling you about those moments in the car with Elizabeth and I found this little piece I wrote when it all was actually happening…anyway, this is for you and all the young parents…hope I have made it clear with these few words.
The days are getting shorter here and my worries are getting longer (sorry so cheesy); Elizabeth is driving! As with many things in life, this event is two sided – one side gives me freedom and the other causes much apprehension. hmmmmm. I am getting better at letting go of these fears – realizing that I can’t stop life from doing its thing and that I will get through it because I have to. I will try to focus more on my freedom and less on the thought of her on the road – alone.
Once, I wrote about how much I valued the time she and I spent in the car going from place to place , leaving supper on the stove to run to town for makeup, driving east 20 miles to a friend’s house or west 30 miles for “True Red” lipstick at Sephora – always inconvenient for me but always bonding for us. I was the one to pick her up from school and hear her day fresh off the presses, news that, otherwise, would have been absorbed in the first moments at home – moments gone that I would never have known about. The VW she is driving is where I introduced her to The Beatles and Dylan and she discovered how much she loved Lennon and asked tens of questions about that era that was my childhood – she learned as I relived. Well, here I am on the other side. Now, I will know much less about the days of this little girl. I will have my coveted “freedom”, but I will not have those intimate moments while driving her from place to place. Those days are gone.
My mom had such a handle of these transitions, these doors that close so quickly – she told me she was never sad about endings, instead she looked forward to the next chapters in our lives. I will take that with me as I focus on the memories we made and the relationship we built in the front seat of my car and I will gently close this precarious door.