I don’t know

bird feeder

I started tossing and turning at 5 this morning and finally gave in to the sleeplessness a little after 6:00. I got up and made coffee. I suppose I am practicing for tomorrow morning’s moon event. Anyway, here I am in a very quiet and early morning place just pecking on my keyboard trying to find words worth writing.

I read something yesterday about a woman who has made an ambitious exit; she turned off all of her social media, she unplugged from this virtual world we may be trapped in.

Before dawn, I thought about this. I thought about the good and the not so good and I continue to think but have not found my answer. How did all of this happen? Here I was doing my life, taking breaks throughout the day and evening but these breaks were not spent here at this computer and I did not carry a smart phone with me everywhere I went. I fed the birds, I read a magazine or a few pages in a book, I sat on the swing and watched our black cat romp, I hung my clothes on the line or called a friend or just sat with coffee in a curled up corner of stillness. So now, I take more breaks, usually at this computer – I look up recipes, read someone’s blog, read things of interest on FB and get my blood boiling over other things on FB, check the weather, etc. Necessary? No, but… I do love hearing from people who I might not hear from if not for social media and like a lot of moms, I enjoy being able to tell my kids something immediately without feeling like I am bothering them – calling can be precarious, messaging is almost always timely. But, on the other hand, there are no more letters in the mail, not as much face to face visiting, and the worst thing – so much comparing, especially damaging for the young and the insecure.

I conclude with, “I don’t know”…I suppose, like most things in life, moderation is the key and with everything in life, there are pros and cons. I am reading a book about Picasso – written by Francoise Guilot, a partner for 10 years of his life, a woman 40 years his junior and mother of 2 of his children; they met when she was 21 and he was 61 – within the book are many of Picasso’s notable quotes.

So far, what follows is my favorite bit of wisdom he shared with Francois. Coincidently, his words are on topic, even though it was spoken decades ago…great art is timeless.

He said, “You must realize that there is a price on everything in life. Anything of great value – creation, a new idea – carries its shadow zone with it. You have to accept it that way. Otherwise there is only the stagnation of inaction. But every action has an implicit share of negativity. There is no escaping it. Every positive value has its price in terms and you never are anything very great which is not, at the same time, horrible in some respect. THE GENIUS OF EINSTEIN LEADS TO HIROSHIMA.”

After all of this, I write something meaningful and useful, with no known negative consequence…

it is the dead of winter now, 

please feed the birds…

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