Monthly Archives: June 2014

it’s time

windowIf not now than when – this rolls over and over in my unsettled mind – it is summer I will be 60 in one day – tomorrow, I am on a mission to get this stuff out of my head and onto this keyboard or onto a canvas – this clutter that fills my house and my head is becoming bothersome because many of life’s distractions have vanished , at 60 there is no need to maintain children and I have filtered through socialization and I no longer have parents, at least not in a physical sense, for they are still very much “here” in my life but I can communicate with them any time of day or night and the visit does not require a road trip of any sort and it is summer and my job is dormant for now and I am exhausting myself with the left brain functions of trying to schedule the time to do these things I want to do, the house doesn’t need to be in good shape, the garden can wait, there are no travel plans on the docket, my excuses need to end because I am in a place that is mine, so if not now, I ask myself in a very loud voice, when? DSC_0685

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watching

IMG_0542The cat is at the window – sitting there watching me pour my morning coffee. He has, by now, eaten a lizard, had a run in with a mockingbird and peed on my periwinkles. Now, he sits, watching me and waiting for breakfast. Every day is the same…I love this cat (except for what he does to my flowers). I love that I look up each morning and there he is at a window, watching.

 

These things in our days that are familiar and constant are so perfect, these things we take for granted…until they are gone. I hope to notice more of them, to be less distracted by the temporary superficial clamor of life and notice the foundations of my day, the people, places and things that make it mine.

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fineartamerica.com

The longer I live, the less racket I want. I wish for happiness and goodness for my adult children (and everyone’s children),   figs on the trees in July followed by citrus in winter, fireflies in the woods on summer nights, a full moon in the sky every 28 days and the cat in the window watching me pour my first cup of coffee on a summer morning.

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night falls

1-full-001I missed the Full Strawberry Moon rising last night – it was cloudy and I was, regretfully, distracted, but I did see it hang above the trees an hour after its debut. It was pure splendor, this first full moon of summer. Quickly I thought of my brief time spent in the Tuscan countryside just a short while ago and tried to imagine how beautiful the Strawberry Moon was hovering over the hills of Tuscany, silencing the day and shedding light on the night. I do not like to compare and I concede that this heavenly body was so beautiful shining over the fields of home but because I had previously only visited the Italian countryside in my dreams and because I just had the pleasure of seeing it for real, I had to imagine Tuscany topped with the theatrical presentation of this dramatic celestial orb – the proverbial icing on the cake. Anyway, I missed the rising but stood outside for a while and watched it as it sat atop my house framed by the trees in the woods and for those few moments, only allowed its beauty to tangle there within my thoughts. I hope you saw it too.

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a garden gate in Chianti

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fineartamerica.com

Summer is in full bloom here in the Deep South. Today I will pick the last plums from the Santa Rosa and begin to hear the harsh sound of the locust as the thermometer reaches 90 in the middle of the day as dragonflies rest on wooden clothespins. Later, at dusk, I will walk through the field to wait again for the now waning moon and to hear the tree frogs and, for yet again another summer of my life, instinctively look for fire flies in the approaching darkness. I think that every year of my life I have seen fireflies – how wonderful that I can claim that.

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it’s all good

plumsI did not return on the night I said I would, the night I was supposed to write about my “adjustment” – busy I suppose. I am here now though, after a walk around the yard early in the morning. It is different then. I see and hear things that are not there when the sun is declining. Because it was so early, I got the best plums that had fallen from my Santa Rosa – before the birds. I also saw the bees getting ready for their journey, gathered and hovering as though they were waiting for that family member that is always the last to be ready and then launching anxiously out into the woods. I got my shoes wet from the dew and I heard the slight sound of a baby bird and the noisiness and aggression of the mockingbirds. I snapped a magnolia and checked for tassels on the pecan trees – anticipating autumn. I felt the heat of the summer sun, even in the earliness of the day, and knew it would be a day of supreme growth for my fruit trees and perhaps abuse for my annuals. The world seemed right this morning…let the day begin.

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this day

 aA blank page and a new day sit before me…I can easily fill this page with positive attitude and observations, but the day, not so easily. I persist with my art. I have found this reason to write and it soothes me and I have always had a love affair with paints – that outlines me. What becomes the problem is transferring these thoughts and “clichés” into the blank day – that sometimes eludes me. I understand and love the idea of this brand new day  – this gift to unwrap and do with what needs to be done – I get that, but somehow, during the mist of it all I let go and I become reactive to things that don’t matter – that is why this blog was started. It is a place to talk to myself and to you if you care to hear – about keeping superficial things at bay and focusing on the things that do matter.

I know that this kind of “encouragement” is all over social media – quotes dangle from nearly every post and advice and inspirational stories assault you every time you open a tab. I wonder why we need all of this inspiration to get through our lives? Or do we? I remember in my youth before that outside world was constantly on my doorstep bombarding me and trying to make me into someone to function in this contrived society, I went into the woods (sorry to Henry David for even associating myself with his genius) – and I walked and I noticed the dew and the sky and the garden that was nearby and I heard the solitude the sounds of the birds made and I heard what was in my head and what I heard was ME – not this clutter that is continually posted and attacks your identity, messes with your thoughts and dilutes your self-esteem. I have this strange idea that Nature provides us with the answers and I worry that we see less and less of Her and more and more fabrication.IMG_0119

Ok, enough rambling. I have finished my coffee and have raised my awareness level – this new day is ahead of me and I feel gratitude- it is a special gift. I will treat it as though it will never be here again and at its end, I plan to come back to this place where I write and hopefully realize my success.

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gardenias

The first thing I will do is cut a handful of the gardenias I see from my kitchen window and bring them into the house where their fragrance will infuse my thoughts with a time of my youth and cause me to remember my muse, Miss Sue. I noticed plums from my yard and half of a watermelon that scream summer to me in the refrigerator – that sounds like breakfast. If you are here with me, I hope you find your peace within this day

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