It is 28 degrees and “snowing” in this little coastal town; Old Man Winter is flexing….and school has been called off. I had to bundle up and walk outside for a while, a short while, to hear the crunch of the frozen grass and look with wonder as I saw the winter birds scurrying around with “business as usual” on this blustery winter day. Until my last breath, I will be totally amazed and captivated by Nature. I saw that my citrus trees have taken another hit and I will have to wait until spring to know if they will survive.
I am inside now and brewing tea. I went to an estate sale yesterday and for 50 cents I bought a bright yellow tea cup and I am so happy to have this cold winter day to drink hot tea from it. The cup of tea in this little cup that came to me with so much history and this winter day allow me to slow down and travel to places that I have not been in a while. Again, it is Nature causing us to stop or at least slow down because we need to every now and then so that we can sort through and find “us” again. Anyway, just wanted to post and wish for you a cup of tea and some quiet time on this winter day, this gift from Nature.
little clip to inspire you on this cold day… http://www.nowness.com/day/2014/1/8/3583/dickie-landry-new-york-stories
I am thinking of the winters of my life and I think this is the best, simply because this one is now. When I was in Florence this summer, “delivering” my daughter to school, a school that was 5000 miles away from Loreauville, LA, I would find myself sad and anxious and scared amongst the beauty of the Renaissance and Elizabeth. I was within an experience I never dreamed of having – it was so counter and negative to mix those great moments with apprehension. Those destructive feelings kept me in a state away from joy and I battled. Eventually I wrote about my dread, my fear of saying “good – bye” to Elizabeth, and emailed it to my friend, Lucy Hunnicutt. Her reply turned everything around for me, she simply said, “Be there”. From that point on, I was, I was there with my daughter embracing each moment and identifying it as the gift that it was, those words freed me.
Be there. Be where you are at this moment, this moment that will be gone. It is all so brief and transitory. Anyway, I just wanted to remind you. Had I not been prompted, I would have missed moments in my life that were some of the most beautiful. I stood in the streets of Florence between the Duomo and the Gates of Paradise and cried tears of appreciation and gratitude, instead of tears of anticipation and dread. I did not think then of the inevitable good bye, for it would come on its own and in that moment, its moment, I would deal with it. It was a difficult good bye, but now, in this, the best winter of my life, I can think of the wonderful times we spent before the “good bye”, moments that are not tainted by the anticipation of the next. Thanks Lucy, I hope I was able to successfully pass on your simple words and gigantic message.
There are angels amongst us.
The new year is coming in. I am not as welcoming as I had hoped. I find myself still thinking too much about the old one. I hear the wind coming through the chimney down into the fireplace and rattling around like a reminder of things left unsettled. I stopped awhile, stopped painting and stopped putting away the old year to put cabbage and black eyed peas on the stove and some fresh lemon in the iced tea I made earlier. I listened longer to the wind stirring around and causing some sort of melancholia to settle in on the crisp new year. I can’t identify it and I certainly don’t like it, so I am writing hoping to find it here in these words to dispel it.
I think it comes from the sudden switch – the anticipation of the holiday and then newspapers and TVs overflowing with white sales and weight loss and Valentines on greedy store shelves. Where is Christmas? By now, I have gotten so weary of this media directed world we have created – I so long for creative thoughts and originality and time to be a bit more still – time to absorb instead of rushing on to the next “thing”. I think how big the world once was and how we had space to become who we were.
Maybe that’s it, maybe that’s what lingering and bothering me – the herding of society? Oh my, that is way too harsh of a thought or comment, way too disagreeable of an assumption.
I am heading outside. I will bundle up and walk through the drenched field and come back with good thoughts, for I know I will see a cardinal and I will hear my two goats in the woods, eating grass and paying no mind to this hype that hangs around me. I will make a mental note to get bird seed and plant a camellia and another citrus tree before spring, pick a few oranges, wait for the new moon tonight and think about those pure moments within the holiday that connected me to my family and when I do these things, I will be happy.