Monthly Archives: September 2012

Magic and the Moon

I wait impatiently for the coolness of autumn to find us way down here along the Gulf Coast. It seems to be delayed, as late September is feeling too much like August. The Full Harvest Moon will light up the night on the 29th and I know I will stand in the field where my garden is and wait to see it rise just over the trees and once again, be in awe. This is a ritual that began in my youth; there is something about the moon rising and the sun setting that puts me in a special place; it is a miracle I can easily enjoy and count on.
I think I may be the only person on the planet that would have rather no one land on the moon. I loved the mystery, the romance, the way my imagination could roam on that far away sphere when I was a child. I suppose children don’t bother looking for the “man in the moon” anymore since there was a “man on the moon”. Shame on me, I suppose…

 
Speaking of miracles, I have had my life enriched this past week end by people I have never even seen and may never meet. It was a spiritual journey, one without the interruption and intrusion of ego – the best kind of experience.  The experience was pure, linked to my past, and generated a peaceful feeling that ripples and finds its way into my everyday life, the same feeling I get when I paint or write – just a spiritual connection that fills you up.

 I think of the word serendipity, a fun word that I love, “making discoveries by accident”, and think this would be a fitting way to describe the week end that just past, the one I write of – it was a magical accident. Sorry to be so vague but the details shouldn’t matter; the point is that being in spirit is where you find your truth and consequent happiness. The material things your ego strives for keeps you on the wobbly surface of life and can never give you pure joy – it is as temporary and fleeting as the stuff you buy with it.

Anyway, I hope you look more towards those places in your life that deal with essence and worry less about those places that deal with acquisitions.
And I hope Fall will soon arrive in South Louisiana!
 
b u
p s
 

 

 

 


a re post

I am cheating this morning and reposting  – it is something I re read and decided to do.
To begin with, as a foundation, I need a spiritual self – one that truly believes in a higher power and one that insist that we are here to help others and to utilize the gifts we have for the betterment of the whole, for me that is a given, it is my religion. But in matters beyond that, I have this idea that the two things that make us feel good at the end of the day, when we stop and access, are productivity and control.
Productivity is such a rewarding feeling – and the high from it is directly related to the challenge of the task. In my life, I relate it to the job of raising my children (the most important job in the world) or the completion of a painting or a column or pea seeds popping up from the freshly made garden. Some days, I feel productive just cutting the grass, some days I need more, but every day I need something – if I want to feel happiness. I need to feel productive and the more my productivity enhances the lives of others, the better I feel.

And control…I do not mean this in the negative sense – control freak – I mean this in the sense of being the captain of your ship. You have control of your life as opposed to being a raw piece of meat waiting for something to happen to you. I feel like I would like to scale down the possessions and the duties of my life as I get older – I feel this way because at some point I will not be able to do all that I do now; I will lose control…I will need a smaller life to feel a sense of happiness, a life I can control, less is truly more.

This control feature, I believe, has a lot to do with preparation; it is a good idea to prepare for your life, to equip yourself with tools to navigate the dark alleys and the peaks of sunshine – for both, the ups and the downs of life, are inevitable and they will both set you on a course, point you in a direction and the more equipment you have the better your decisions and reactions.

So, there is my two bit philosophy. I am writing this raw this morning because it burst into my head when I looked at the mess in my kitchen. I realized that it was out of control and I was not very productive on the domestic front yesterday – this is a small insignificant example incapable of making me happy or sad but it did make me think of the bigger picture, the important one about my family and how I hope they are gathering tools.

That’s it, just an observation I wanted to share, something to ponder. We are all trying to find happiness and the feeling of contentedness but sometimes we look in the wrong places, sometimes we think we need to have more, do more, but sometimes having more and doing more cause you to lose control and you find yourself in an awkward spin that immobilizes you and then you lose productivity and that saddens you. Again, I have absolutely no qualifications to say what I just said, it is just an observation of my own life that I thought might be something to think about. Control and Productivity – something to strive for, perhaps.

something to do

Just a quick post to put something out there to think about…

 I bother myself with reoccurring thoughts of “how I am helping”, “how am I contributing”? I ask and I come up short. I know that I am hitting all of the big marks – taking care of myself and my family – working at a job of service – trying to be kind to the planet – doing art –  but it’s the small things I am short of, the things that are so easy to do. I think of this because of my twins – I was told a story yesterday about something they did long ago in high school – something they probably don’t even remember but the recipient of their kindness does and  the positive effect has remained with them – how wonderful is that, how great that we can make a difference?

Anyway, this little story inspired me and made me question my own contributions. Sometimes I feel so caught up in my little world and I am not as sensitive to those around me and not helping when I could; I’m too “busy” and self-absorbed – know the feeling?

That is what is on my mind this Sunday morning, the realization that sometimes just a word of praise or a genuine smile can be a difference, a difference that will never be forgotten. It is my goal to become more mindful of those opportunities to do just that. We all know by now that things are not as they seem, people tend to exist behind facades of deception – underneath, there are concerns and we all have the power to readjust damaging thoughts and make the day better for others and consequently ourselves. Our outer selves are what the public sees – it showcases snapshots of our lives that appear fine,it’s our “Facebook” and many times we are all “Pretenders”,  but somewhere beneath, we are the same, experiencing the same anxieties, fears and similar problems.

 I don’t mean for this to be a negative post – I just mean for it to be honest and on this Sunday, a day revered by many, I thought it fitting to think about what else we can do.

There is a quote by one of my son’s (William) favorite guys, William James, that puts all of my awkward words in one little package: “Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does.”

I end with an image, an image that may affect you in a positive way. I resurrected this old kitchen staple yesterday and made coffee for my daughter and I just the way my mom made coffee for she and I many years ago.It dripped and then we drank a cup and shared a moment, one that I hope will make a difference. 
 
b u
p s

 

something we can do

Just a quick post to put something out there to think about…

 I bother myself with reoccurring thoughts of how I am helping, how am I contributing? I ask and I come up short. I know that I am hitting all of the big marks – taking care of myself and my family – working at a job of service – trying to be kind to the planet – doing art –  but it’s the small things I am short of, the things that are so easy to do. I think of this because of my twins – I was told a story yesterday about something they did long ago in high school – something they probably don’t even remember but the recipient of their kindness does and  the positive effect has remained with them – how wonderful is that, how great that we can make a difference.

Anyway, this little story inspired me and made me question my own contributions. Sometimes I feel so caught up in my little world and I am not as sensitive to those around me and not helping when I could; I’m too busy and self-absorbed – know the feeling?

That is what is on my mind this Sunday morning, the realization that sometimes just a word of praise or a genuine smile can be a difference. It is my goal to become more mindful of those opportunities to help. We all know by now that things are not as they seem, people tend to exist behind facades of deception – underneath, there are concerns and we all have the power to readjust damaging thoughts and make the day better for others and consequently ourselves. Our outer selves are what the public sees – it showcases snapshots of our lives that appear fine, but somewhere beneath, we are all the same experiencing the same anxieties and fears and similar problems.

 I don’t mean for this to be a negative post – I just mean for it to be honest and on this Sunday, a day revered by many, I thought it fitting to think about what we can do.

There is a quote by one of my son’s (William) favorite guys, William James, that puts all of my awkward words in one little package for: “Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does.”

I end with an image, an image that may affect you in a positive way. I resurrected this old kitchen staple yesterday and made coffee for my daughter and I just the way my mom made coffee for she and I many years ago. It was something  good I could do …

 

life marches on

It was a very early rise this Saturday morning in September – my daughter has ACT and she and her best friend were up and stirring before 6. That was a good thing, however (not ACT, yuk to that rigid one dimensional humbug) getting up early on a Saturday morning. I knew exactly what I wanted to do with those few minutes before sunrise – sit outside with coffee. It was so connecting; I felt part of the whole as I listened to daybreak and contributed my small sounds to it. Mostly, it was the birds that I heard – I suppose I never realized how many different sounds they make – how individual they all are – I don’t think nature intended us to all be alike either – this blending concept that is all so politically correct these days and these generic looking people in advertising (you know what I’m talking about – those people that could be of any ethnicity – a marketing tactic to reach as many “victims” as possible), for me is unnatural. Being equal and being the same are two entirely different concepts. I think society does a great job trying to make us all look the same but it falters dramatically on making us all equal – the cookie cutter looks are just ways to distract from the harsh reality of inequality. I love the differences we all have – I would never want to paint a picture with just a tube of blue.

 
 
 
Anyway, the morning was transcending. I suppose I will soon have much time to re acquaint myself with the sunrise and the sounds of the earth waking up – for like the birds, my nest will soon be empty too. That’s a bundle of mixed emotions there. As we always say, where did the time go? I am happy about the lives my sons are carving out for themselves – they are independent lives – they have gone away and found their way, their own way. Hopefully, my daughter will be able to do the same. It is what we want as parents, right? What an internal conflict we feel – we try to raise them to be independent of us  and when they finally are, we are happy but we also feel this …whatever “this” is.I suppose without really knowing, we begin from the very first day of their lives teaching them to be independent of us. Well, after about 20 or so years of that, they, hopefully, are – it’s what we wanted, it was our job.
 

 

 
 
It seems I am doing a bit of rambling here – sorry. I hope, as always, there is something within this post that finds a place in your situation. This motherhood/parenthood topic is something paramount for me and I have a feeling it is important to most of my readers also. Our children are our lives and they are our gauges that read the happiness or sadness in our hearts. There have been times, one recently, when one of their worlds was upside down and it consumed me, it paralyzed me until they were straight again. It’s what we do; it’s who we are. I told a friend recently that I feel as though mothers are like human size filters – everything flows through us as we try to make the lives of our children the best they can be and these heartfelt efforts take their toll and leave the impurities there with us so that our kids can move on.

 

 I refer to my mom many times and I think of her always. She is there in those early mornings when I sit quietly by myself and I can still draw from her wisdom. She once told me – I suppose it was when one of my children had reached a milestone ( like going to pre – k J ) that she was never sad about the “closing door”, instead she looked forward to the next thing we would do. I remind myself of that often and aspire to be so positive towards this natural and inevitable evolution of life.
 

 

 I end with a public expression of gratitude and humility for the experiences life has given me thus far and I do not take one moment, one gift, for granted as I look ahead with the anticipation of the next chapter and I wish this appreciation and courage for you also. Thanks mom.
 
 

 

 
 
Let go
p s

a gift

Before this day ends, I would like to do a quick post. Today is my son William’s birthday; he is 30. Early this morning he texted me with a wonderful quote and it was like a gift to me, one I want to share with you.

“I don’t believe in this “gifted few” concept, just in people doing things they are really interested in doing.  They have a way of getting good at whatever it is.” Charles Eames

Freeing isn’t it? It’s all about doing what you love and sticking to it – and you will stick to it because you love it…when we try to contrive life, things, it doesn’t ever really work out – maybe on the outside, but never on the inside, the place it matters.   

Anyway, just wanted to pop in and share this thought that William shared with me.

b u
p s