Monthly Archives: January 2011

January

I loved the imagery that follows in this poem and wanted to share it on this last day of January. Already, one month is gone, never to come again. I have to be more mindful of  my calories, my money, my words, my energy, my thoughts, and my days and how I chose to spend them. I have been wreckless with all of the above at times; I have yet another day, another gift, to begin again.
I just put this here because I love this picture of Lennon and I do think of how suddenly and without warning his music stopped.
“January is the quietest month in the garden.  …  But just because it looks quiet doesn’t mean that nothing
is happening.  The soil, open to the sky, absorbs the pure rainfall while microorganisms convert tilled-under
fodder into usable nutrients for the next crop of plants.  The feasting earthworms tunnel along, aerating
the soil and preparing it to welcome the seeds and bare roots to come.”

–  Rosalie Muller Wright, Editor of Sunset Magazine, 1/99
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why

I had some sort of “dreamshot” early this morning that woke me up and has stayed with me most of the day. I  put value in dreams – I think it is my subconscious mind filling me in on something; it is actually spiritual for me.Anyway, only I was in this dream fragment. I was in a nearby town, a real one, Lafayette, and I stood in between two landscapes, one was a beautiful woodland where 100 + year old trees thrived and small animals lived and the other was concrete strip malls and national chains where people bought useless stuff. I looked at one and then the other and wondered why.

 Thoreau
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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote

now

It is early as I sit and think; what do I do with this day? It has been given to me and it is the only one like it, so what? Do I just “get through it” or do I make it a “day to remember”? I think I will begin with a visualization of my gifts, my tools, and I will build the day from that platform. I have words in my head I want to discombobulate, I will do that, I have a sweet and light conversation I must have with someone, I hope to have a healthy supper on the stove by evening, and I know I will come into contact with several people I can be kind to – not a bad start, not a shabby plan. Thursday, January 27, 2010 by Pam Shensky
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Life, so they say, is but a game and we let it slip away.
Love, like the Autumn sun, should be dyin’ but it’s only just begun.
Like the twilight in the road up ahead, they don’t see just where we’re goin’.
And all the secrets in the Universe, whisper in our ears
And all the years will come and go, take us up, always up.
We may never pass this way again.

instructions

walk towards the sunshine and the shadows will fall behind you.

We all know this, but I know I need a reminder now and then. I need to stop occasionally and gather all of my gifts and lay them out on the table in front of me and count them. As I count them, I need to understand how lucid and fragile they all are and how I should cherish them with each minute I possess them, for just as they have been given to me, they can be taken from me. I need not look far to see my blessings nor do I need to look hard to see how I might share them.

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treats

one of the secrets to a happy life is continuous small treats
iris murdoch
here’s my list:
  • i woke up
  • “good morning mom” elizabeth
  • my favorite coffee cup
  • 25 lbs of potatoes to plant
  • dark chocolate
  •  organic apples
  • fresh lemon with my tea
  • end of school bell on friday
  • holding ringo, our cat
  • feeding my chickens
  • making a fire
  • writing this entry

questions

we do not know the full value of our moments until they have undergone the test of memory. george duhamel
I rely on my memories to make my past a special place and to , later, make this time better. This time is a bit challenging, decisions to make, jobs to do, directions to take, never knowing if I am choosing the door with the tiger behind it. I will go through January with an effort to be optimistic and enjoy the sights and the reveal of this barren season, all the while leaving behind moments that will become memories.
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moods

It seems my mood is following the rhythm of the season, dark with welcome rays of sunshine. I don’t know that I could leave the South, I am too accustomed to the milder weather and its positive effect upon my mood.There exist a paradox, for while I love the silence, the stillness, and the reveal of winter, I fear the direction of my mood when the sun hides behind the clouds for too long.My comforting memories become puddles of tears and my reflection becomes a deeper voyage within, too deep.I expect the sun to be out tomorrow and perhaps I will spend an hour or so cleaning up in my garden, preparing for spring.

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A Lamp

I walk by this little room every day of my life, hardly ever entering, but always noticing this little lamp. I replaced the old lightbulb  with an “efficient” bulb and now it burns always, lighting the dark staircase late at night when my twins come home or when I go up early in the morning before dawn, to wake Elizabeth for school. The little light is always there helping us to find our way, never faltering, always shining. This was my mother’s lamp; it sat in her living room behind the sofa. It helped her to read the paper, to sew on a button, to look at picture books with Elizabeth. Now, it helps me to remember.

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Starting Over

It is late and the week end was too full, but I wanted to begin again with this addiction, this therapy, this creative release I have acquired. I have missed coming here to my little space I share with whomever. I have missed bundling up my thoughts and putting them into words that may (or not) cause a stir within someone and certainly causes me to ponder and to think of things in a deeper way. Anyway, I will write more later. Excuse the mess that is the blog. I am having to learn how this site works and I am afraid I am not too articulate in technology. I have copied all of my old post and archived them just to have, for me to have, because they are the bread crumbs of my life for nearly 3 years.
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